Thursday, August 30, 2007

Longest Post Ever: AKA Myspace Drama (?) Part Two:

This all resulted in her deciding that she didn’t want to/couldn’t live with me. That would have been fine too except we had been looking at apartments together for about 4 weeks and were about 2 weeks from our move-out date. And! the night she chose to let me know of her new decision? My Birthday! That was a fun night….I could barely see my drinks through my puffy eyes. I apologize, because I don’t mean to be drfrmatic and I think now I would be much more calm about it now, but she was literally my only friend up here, I didn’t know the area, I had no job, and I had no idea what I was doing. I almost called my parents and got on a flight that same weekend. But I didn’t. A and I got in a little fight (through email) where I confronted her about what went wrong (the third evil roommate, the dog, the boyfriend, etc.) and we basically got over it.

We continued that first year with frequent emails and phone calls. I can even remember calling her from a hellish-Holiday cruise I was on with 11 members of my immediate family, just to hear a friendly voice (the cruise was not going well). We were getting along great! When she and her boyfriend left for a month to road-trip and go to Sundance for the festival I made her little road-trip presents (mix tapes/snacks). When she got back we hung out a little bit more; watching out favorite TV shows (Veronica Mars/The Office) and going to our Alumni bar to watch our b-ball games.

Then things fell apart again. I think it had been building for a while but I just wanted to ignore it. Long story short - it was basically that on the most important night of my year– the NCAA championships (don’t laugh) – she chose to invite everyone to her house instead of the bar we had been gathering at for the entire college basketball season. When I asked if the 3 friends I had actually managed to make in that time could come, she said ‘no’ because her apt. wasn’t big enough. Huh. So I told her I probably wouldn’t be able to make it, since my other 3 friends were still counting on me to save the table (which were scarce). She still went ahead with it – no one came to her house (because it’s tiny and in Queens!) and only my friends showed up at the bar with me (because her’s knew she wouldn’t be there).

So it was a stupid, random thing that set me off but it just kind of highlighted her faults and even still, I tried to reconcile with her at the time. But she wouldn’t return my calls, and when we finally met face to face to talk about everything, she came to the conclusion that everything bad in our friendship was my fault, these were all ‘my’ issues and I should probably just admit that and then we could go back to being friends. I said no, I wouldn’t and that I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with that – I told her I would call her when I figured it out. I didn’t call her back for about 6 or 7 months.

Finally (around Thanksgiving) I called and left a message saying that I missed her and wanted to talk to her. She called me back; she said she missed me too and that she was really glad that I called her. So we forged another (less stable) friendship. We saw each other less than ever (mainly because I didn’t call her every week like I used to) and when we did see each other it wasn’t (to me) as much fun. Still – every now and then I would call for advice or visa versa and it would be how it was.

Recently she wanted me to meet her new (gay) friend J, she said I would “love” him!
J is a co-worker she met over the summer at her old job. He is her number one friend on myspace (her boyfriend isn’t on – he’s a little older). Anyways, I agreed, and was excited to meet this new important person in her life. We all met to see the premiere of the Simpsons movie (which was awesome)! But here is where it gets tricky (and stupid). I’m the type of person who likes to sit through the entire end credits. I don’t even read them, I just hate how everyone in a movie immediately leaps up out of their seats and starts slowly moving toward the (bottlenecked) exits like cattle! No thank you. I prefer to sit, and digest what I’ve just seen, I talk to the person with me about the film – it’s nice, try it!

However, I also realize that when in a group sometimes you don’t always get to do what you want to do. So we sat there after the film for about 5 minutes, we saw some of the extra stuff at the end, and then A was all – “shall we go? Do you guys….want ….to leave?” In this tone that was more like “Why haven’t you guys gotten up yet?” So I said “sure let’s go!” and we all three got up and moved out of the chairs onto the stairs leading to the exits. All of the sudden we stopped. I was still watching the screen but I was wondering why we weren’t moving so I looked down to see both A and J both standing in the middle of the stairs with their phones out, scrolling through their text messages. I was a little shocked (I guess I shock easy). I really hate phones in the theatre – almost at any time, also – they were blocking the people behind us! So I said “Hey guys are we gonna go? Or check our phones?” in a normal tone. A whipped around and snapped “Lynn! You can’t just talk to people like that, can’t you just wait?!”. I was again, shocked. She was the one who told me to get up! So I just stepped around them both and calmly walked out, slowly enough for them to follow. When we got outside I had a message from my brother so I checked it and plaintively ignored them. I was determined not to let that ruin the night though, so I hung up and we discussed where we were going next.

They threw out some ideas, but almost all of them meant spending about $20 more and getting food – it was 11:30 at night(!) – if I was going to spend anymore money – it would have been on Vodka. I said something to that effect, but they assured me they didn’t want to drink. So I peaced out (nicely) and went home. About a week ago I realized A had cut me out of her top “myspace” friends and about two days ago (the 27th), I realized I haven’t heard from A since that night (of the Simpsons). So I sent her an email that very lightly chided us both for not being in better touch. I said we should hang out, and I told her to call me – all in good cheer! Well, I haven’t heard from her since then and it’s been 4 days. At this point, I’m kind of tired of the whole thing, but I thought I would throw it out there and see what other people thought. Should I call/email A again to hang out – or to really end things? Or should I just leave it alone again and wait for another 8 months to pass….

Honestly, I’ve never heard of people behaving this way – and she has an iPhone so she has gotten the email. But on the other hand – this is best friend from my Freshman year of college! Such relationships don’t die easily, nor should they, I believe.

3 comments:

Lucy Dee said...

Ahhh! Is that JEM? I heard she's truly, truly, truly outrageous! (I'm sure you haven't heard that before!)

I'm sorry to say, but she was my hero growing up. So I have to give deference.

Nice coming across your blog! I have to go back to Part 1 in order to get the full story. Ironically, I have a part I, part II story going on in my blog as well!

enthusiast said...

I think you did the right thing. I read through the entire saga and it reminds me of something i just went through with my best friends of 9 years. (Your post also has inspired me to finally chronicle my friend issues..thanks :)) You'd think these things don't end as easily as that, but they do. I say wait until you hear from her, since you've already attempted to talk to her.

Irish and Jew said...

No f-ing way, do not call her. You are alwyas the one who has to initiate the 'make ups,' you sent the email, if she doesn't get in touch with you it's her loss.

-J